does anyone want to play kudzu vines with me
sure! i’ll be a native tree standing in a biodiverse field
*places my rhizomes on you*
*begins to get subsumed, losing my nutrients and access to light*
huh? whats going on? i feel sleepy..
*the organisms that once called my branches and roots home either die of habitat loss or flee to my nearest neighbors*
actually you know what that's exactly it i would rather someone add 5 parantheticals after every sentence than use tone indicators it's 1. accomplishing SO much more in terms of clarity 2. extremely funny to look at depending on how they're used
observe:
"is this real? /gen" — i thought /gen meant "general" for ages. i would not be able to understand this on first sight a few years ago and is thus ineffective
"is this real? (genuine question)" — i fully understand this without issue
"is this real? (genuine question) (can't tell) (very realistic) (looks real) (scary) (photoshop?)" — is not only incredibly clear it's also very funny to read all of these thoughts stapled together while also in their own parentheses. it's also the most useful because now i can actually address all parts of what they are asking me with as much specificity as BOTH of us need
parentheses my beloved (they are for bonus thoughts) (and questions) ( and sidetracks) (like a 2nd conversation on top of the first)
Yellow humpback fly, Psilodera valid, Acroceridae (small-headed flies)
Found in South Africa
Photos by mariedelport
The larvae of these flies are spiny, hairy maggots that can run (using an inchworm style motion) and jump and all on their own they hunt down spiders, then enter the spider through a leg joint and live parasitically in their organs for sometimes years, depending on the spider’s lifespan
How do they get out? 😨
They chew their way out after they finally kill the host, and then they pupate outside the spider’s body, but that’s usually near almost the end of the spider’s lifespan! And many of the host species live from five to ten years, sometimes synchronized, which means those species of small head flies only emerge as adults once every decade, too! Others come out every year, depending on the spider they use.
Also when the larva first finds a spider, it avoids being noticed by only moving when the spider does. So it will sit there on the spider’s leg for hours, inch up the leg every time the spider does anything and then stop again.
learning that self depreciation isnt cool and just makes the people around you uncomfortable unironically improved my mental health a lot. like if you just stop saying negative shit about yourself you will genuinely like yourself more and other people wont be repulsed by your attitude and you will have more friends. it's true.
plus the self-defensive “I have to preemptively confess to all my Shameful Hideous Flaws so I don’t look like I’m trying to hide it or insufficiently embarrassed about it” nah kiddo quit doing that, it comes across as kinda gross and I guarantee that most people will never notice most of whatever you think of as your Shameful Hideous Flaws, and probably half the people you’re talking to already think those are kinda cute
people who did notice your Shameful Hideous Flaws and think that yes, they are Shameful and Hideous, probably aren’t talking to you.
Also, people who do notice your Shameful Hideous Flaws and say "it's fine" are not saying that to just appease you; they say that because NO ONE IS PERFECT.
People let other people know what is making them uncomfortable because that's communication. If someone is saying that you constantly putting yourself down makes them uncomfortable, they are communicating to you that you're not the only person whose feelings need to be validated.
If you value any sort of relationship with someone, you will have to be okay with people setting boundaries with you and that includes telling you when something you're doing is making them uncomfortable.
It bears repeating.
Also, look, sure it’s true that some of the people who say “it’s fine” ARE saying that just to appease you, but if they were actually thinking “this makes you Unacceptable” then they likely wouldn’t bother doing that, because they wouldn’t be having that conversation with you in the first place.
People who voluntarily spend time with you are doing it because they want to. They’ve already decided the plusses outweigh the minuses.
(I mean, do you know of people who have Shameful Hideous Flaws that make them unacceptable as a human being? Yes you do! Do you spend your precious time telling those people “no it’s fine?” No you do not! You spend your time with people you like, or at least tolerate.)
^^^ All of this.
Also, just wanted to add something that I forgot in my initial reblog:
People will tell you these things because they love you, not because they hate you. If they hated you, they would probably say nothing at all TO YOU, but talk about you behind your back. And I don't know about anyone else, but I'd rather deal with a hurtful truth than a stab in the back with a deceitful smile.
This. When people say “don’t do that it’s gross” they’re saying it because they like you and want good things for you. They’re seeing that you have some kind of problem and are trying to help.
Unlearn high school. People going out of their way to be nice to you don’t secretly hate you, because once you’re out of high school you can just not interact with people you actually hate, and any given person is probably gonna choose that.
The kid isn't lying. A certain metallic medal on the cover is your 100% guarantee that the book is miserable. You name it, they've got it. Genocide, hate crimes, dead or dying pets/friends/family (half the time the protagonist pulls the trigger), manic pixie dream girls but for 10-year olds (spoiler alert, she always dies or is taken from her family).
I hated those books so much as a kid. They didn't teach me valuable lessons, but they sure fucked me up and gave me anxiety.
The year is 2021. It is May. Fourth grade has just finished for my kid and we got the reading list for 5th. It's 3 books long. One of those books is One Crazy Summer. Another is The River, sequel to Hatchet. The laridge to Teribithia.
In May of 2021.
I wrote a strongly worded letter to the schools and the school board that was ignored. When she started 5th grade in August, I asked her ELA teacher about the choice of books and the woman was flabbergasted. She issued no such list. She never would have, not knowing her students or their reading levels, and certainly not with those books in 2021.
To this day I still don't know where that list came from. But that was some goddamned depressing shit. (I did like One Crazy Sumner, tho. Solid story, there!)
Pets die. People die, including children. It’s far better to learn about death and work through those emotions with a fictional book, that you can always put down if gets to be too much, than to have to first learn about death when a person or animal you cared about has died for real.
Awards like the Newberry and Printz are given out every year—there’s a winner and two runners up/honor books. Every year. Claiming they all are “miserable” is ridiculous, anti-intellectual hyperbole, and a complete twisting of a kid’s amusing observation.
Parents have a right to try to control what their children read, but they absolutely do not have a right to dictate what every other child at their kid’s school reads. I’m glad that school ignored the letter over what was apparently an optional summer reading list.
This website loves to get up in arms about right-wingers trying to ban books with LGBTQ themes, but turns around and makes the exact same “protecting the children” arguments when it’s death or other topics they don’t personally like. Censorship is censorship. It’s not “better” because yours isn’t homophobic.
Bridge to Terabinthia is one of the most commonly challenged books in the United States, according to the ALA. Objecting to it is not saying anything groundbreaking or special.
Okay, so maybe it's better to work through grief for a fictional character, but who's going to help the child through that? The teacher? The parents who might not look any deeper into reading list? Who is the child supposed to go to?
And what about the kids who've already lost a pet or family or friends? They've already gone through the process, no need to put them through it again.
During my school years, I've read my fair share of upsetting books. As soon as I had control over my reading material, I maintained a systematic avoidance of those books. I used to always read the last few pages before committing to a book. Avoiding sad and/or ambiguous endings. Even now, I rarely entertain any media if it isn't a happy ending.
The best solution I can think of is content warnings and triggers. Explain which topics are going to be discussed or explored and have the child's consent before moving forward.
Who helps the child through it? THE BOOK DOES! ALL BY ITSELF! The relationship between the book and the reader is both meaningful and private.
That’s what books do! THAT IS THE POWER OF LITERACY! That is why they burned William Tyndale at the stake and shot Malala Yousufzai in the fucking head.
I realize you don’t understand this because you are a morally stunted illiterate by choice, but the goal of education is to make sure that fewer people end up like you. You personally are the outcome we are trying avoid in raising adult citizens.
bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent
happy 3 yr anniversary to the post that singlehandedly launched the twilight renaissance
Happy 5 year anniversary to the effervescent snail post
places i should be allowed to poke around in because i am curious by nature
I know everyone says it’s best to just stick to “said” as a dialogue tag bc it disappears and that’s true and I mostly do but I want to take a moment for my all-time favorite dialogue tag, “lied.” Absolutely nothing hits like “‘I’m here to help,’ he lied.” NOTHING.
ABSOLUTELY one of my favourites.
I love house md. it’s gay, its homophobic. it’s ableist, it has some of the best disability representation I’ve seen. medical malpractice and felonies are committed pretty much every episode, some of these aren’t even related to the case. for as bonkers as everything gets it never stops being a medical drama. it a fucking sherlock adaptation
ever since my gf and i moved in together a couple years ago i've been semi-regularly executing something i call a "prank night." this is something you want to do frequently enough that it's not a special occasion, but spontaneously enough to make it a prank. the set-up for a prank night is simple
now you can execute the four core aspects of the prank night
The Look On The Girlfriend's Face Will Be Awesome!
